Time After Time
by Insanity 101
Summary: After the events of Aftershock. Beast Boy finds comfort and new hope in a fellow teammate. First BBXRae...Don't shoot! This is for CalliopeMused, if you happen to be reading. Oneshot.


_I...I uh...um...um...just read or run away. Calliope Mused, if you're out there somewhere, I think this is what you asked for. I realize this theme is probably terribly overused, but I wouldn't know since I've never read a BBXRae, so please forgive me. ...Skip to the end for an in-depth explanation of, well, why I'm writing this.

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Beast Boy sighed heavily, weary eyes staring around at the mess of tangled objects, a shovel poking out of the mounds of discarded pizza boxes and clothing. With his luck he'd probably catch some kind of disease from the mess...but, he realized, he didn't much care. A single tear streaked down his cheek, crash landing on a small, metal box; nothing special in the eyes of an outsider. They said he should be over it by now...they said she was gone...they said there was no way.

What they didn't know was that he understood that better than any of them.

He didn't look up at the knock on his door. He didn't want to talk to anyone, he knew exactly what they would say and he did not want to hear it. Not right now. Not anymore.

The knocking grew more persistant. "Beast Boy, I know you're in there."

That got his attention. Eyes wide, he stared at the door in shock. Raven?

"Listen...I know you don't want to talk to anyone right now...but I want to talk to you." A quiet sigh drifted to his ears, slightly muffled by the thick sheet of metal. "Please just open the door."

Eyes wider still, Beast Boy crawled off his bed and forced his way through the piles as though in slow motion, too shocked to dread what would come next or what she would say or what he would say...ok maybe he wasn't that shocked after all.

Raven's small white fist was raised as though about to knock again, but she froze when the door slid open, a tiny hint of surprise in her amethyst eyes. "Oh...I didn't really think you would answer," she mumbled, studying his face in the same way she always did...he wasn't sure if he liked it or hated it. Probably somewhere inbetween.

"I wasn't going to." He tried to smile, but it seemed to be broken. "Enter at your own risk," he muttered, stepping aside to the best of his ability. Instead of the expected lecture or look of disgust, Raven completely ignored the mess and simply levitated over it, coming to rest on a bare patch by the bunkbed.

He expected her to say something, but instead all she did was stare. The gaze was powerful, penetrating...and yet it seemed more sad than calculating, more sympathetic than critical. It was different from all the others; Robin harsh and cold, as though it was the only way he knew how to be; Starfire tearful, smothering, and loud; Cyborg with that horrible look of confusion and loss in his eye. Raven's gaze said, as clear as day, that she knew exactly what he was feeling, that he had every right to feel it, and that, in time, the aching would cease and happiness would sprout up in its wake. For the first time, it didn't seem so hard to believe. "Raven..." he struggled for the words, thinking she expected them.

"I know. You don't need to explain." Raven's eyes seemed to take on an extra layer, and he was amazed at how much he could see in them, as though it had all appeared out of thin air...or maybe this was the first time he had really looked.

"Raven..." What was he trying to say? The words wouldn't come, his thoughts a tangled mess. Terra...he loved Terra with all his heart...but she wasn't coming back. Nothing and no one could change that.

"No one can force these things, Beast Boy. Healing takes time, everyone handles it in their own way." She reached out a hand and gently touched his shoulder, eyes swallowing him whole. "You don't have to let her go. When you're ready, it will happen naturally...but you never have to stop loving her. Still...you know she would want you to be happy. ...I want you to be happy." Something that might have been the barest hint of a blush crept into her pale cheeks, sending yet another wave of confusion through the changeling.

"Y-yeah." Beast Boy looked down at his hands awkwardly, not knowing what to say or how to respond. Why was she doing this? Why did she care? Everyone else had given up long before now, and he couldn't blame them. He had nothing left to give, nothing was in the least bit funny anymore. He never believed it would happen, but it did.

Raven cleared her throat awkwardly, obviously searching for words. He couldn't blame her for feeling uncomfortable...this had never been her specialty. In fact, he was still shocked that she was here in the first place. "You...you don't need to be alone with this. I can help you...if you'll let me."

Help? Raven wanted to help him? ...He wasn't sure if he could be helped anymore. He just felt so...changed. Broken. Nothing was the same anymore, not since Terra... He swallowed, looking away and searching for something, anything at all that could change the subject, take away the pain and the horrible bleeding in his heart. Somewhere in the back of his mind there was a vague hope that somehow, ignoring this would make it go away, pretending and wishful thinking would become reality, and everything would be normal again. The hope was crushed a little more every day.

"Beast Boy?" Raven gently tilted his head upward, her frown deepening as she saw the tears escaping his dark green eyes to course down his cheeks. "It's ok to miss her. And it's ok if you don't feel exactly the same as the rest of us, or if you don't want to mourn her in the same way we do. None of that matters, this is about you and Terra. But you can't ignore it, you can't bottle it away. You have to let it out, or you will never heal. Think of all the happy times you shared with her, think about how much she loved you. Those are the things you should treasure, enjoy, remember always. Don't shut away the good with the bad. She wouldn't want you to do that."

He nodded ever so slightly, finding it difficult to control himself. The dark, troubled empath had just understood something none of the other titans had been able to grasp. Behind all the jokes and stupid comments, he has a heart, with feelings and needs, and when you hit him...he bleeds, whether he shows it or not. Everyone wears a mask, everyone. It takes someone special to see through them.

Some tiny part of his brain knew he probably should have felt humiliated, crying like this in front of Raven, of all people...but he wasn't. He felt safe with her. "I...I know, Raven. I..." How could he possibly say what he felt? For the first time Terra was not miles away and completely out of reach...after talking to Raven, she seemed...close. It still hurt; it hurt more than he could ever explain, but somehow he knew he was going in the right direction. He was no longer afraid of her presence...and most importantly, he knew he didn't have to let her go or forget about her. She could stay with him for as long as he wanted her to... "I don't know what to say except...thank you."

Raven smiled, and lifted his downcast head once again. Green met purple...and something clicked into place, like the last piece of a puzzle, too perfect to be anything but right. The tears slowed, a hole somewhere deep inside felt just a little bit smaller, a life that was meaningless found purpose once again.

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"Wait! Raven...I'm not sure if I'm ready for this..." Beast Boy frowned uneasily, pulling away from the dark, miserable entrance.

Raven's face was gentle but firm. "Beast Boy..."

He sighed. "I know...ok, I'm coming."

"Good." The empath led the way, undaunted by the darkness or the cobwebs she hastily brushed aside, but she kept a hold on the changeling's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before continuing. She had come here many times before, to...talk with Terra. To her, it had become almost comforting...and she hoped it would have a similar affect for Beast Boy. If he ever wanted to heal, he would have to face down the horror of this place. Fearing and denying something gives it power over you, acknowledging and conquering it will set you free.

Light sifted through cracks and fissures in the rock ceiling of the cavern, dancing upon the earthen floors and making rainbows on a certain plaque. Tears welled up in the changeling's eyes the moment he set foot in the room, and he shook ever-so-slightly, breath coming in ragged gasps. "Raven, I can't..." He turned to run, run as far away from the place as his feet would carry him...

But a hand held him back. He looked at her with eyes swimming in tears, full of fear and panic. But Raven was firm, the rock in the storm. "Yes you can. You have to."

He froze, staring silently into her violet eyes. She was right, and he knew it. With a half-convicted nod, he rubbed a hand across his eyes and took a step forward, Raven at his side.

She was still there, arms spread wide as though welcoming heaven, face turned up as though basking in sunlight, not shadow, her hair blown back by some playful breeze. She had been corrupted, she had committed wrongs against her friends...but in the end, her courage, selflessness, and incredible power saved thousands of innocent lives. _Terra. A Teen Titan. A True Friend._

Staring hesitantly up into her eyes and imagining that they were once again that crystaline blue, Beast Boy fought back the tears. "She...she looks...peaceful," he choked, swallowing and squeezing Raven's hand. "Do you think she's happier now?"

Raven gazed up at Terra thoughtfully, hair swept back from her face and eyes calm. "Do you?"

Beast Boy drank in her stone features silently, tears coursing down his cheeks as he studied every curve, every line. "Yeah."

Raven gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, then smiled over at him as the weak sunbeams played across her face. "Then that's all that matters."

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It had been four years since he lost Terra, but looking back, they were not the agony he had expected them to be. There was pain; there would always be pain in the wake of loss, but through it all, someone had been there, drying his tears, holding his hand, pulling him through. That someone was the reason he was here today. That someone was his angel.

"Terra," he whispered, gazing up into her face as he so often had in the past years, finding comfort in the fact that she was never far away. "Terra, I think I love her."

The face remained unchanged, but that didn't matter. She was here...he could feel it. "She's done so much for me, helped me in so many ways. Without her, I...I don't know what I would have done." He reached up a hand and took hers, eyes pleading, looking for something... "I love you, Terra. I'll always love you, and I'll never forget you, but...I think...I think I'm ready to...live. I love Raven." A single tear streaked down his cheek as his eyes searched her face, almost afraid that he would see pain or despair hidden somewhere in the perfectly shaped stone...He closed his eyes, breathing deeply in the silence and squeezing her hand gently. "Talk to me..."

Warmth, entirely apart from the summer heat, softly spread through him, a feeling almost like laughter or a smile lifting his spirit and setting it free...There, in the silence, Terra was with him...and she had answered his unspoken question.

"Beast Boy?" Raven stepped through the archway, eyebrows furrowed with worry as she approached him cautiously. "Are you alright?"

The changeling smiled up at Terra, whispering a silent thank you before he turned to greet her. "I'm ok, Raven. I'm sorry I didn't say something, before I left..."

She smiled, that sweet, small smile that never failed to warm his heart. Stepping up beside him, she took his hand and looked at him searchingly. "How is she?"

Beast Boy returned the smile, then pulled her into a gentle hug, one hand gently brushing her silky violet hair. "She's happy...she understands..."

Raven gently pulled back, studying his eyes questioningly. "Understands what?"

Before she could say another word, Beast Boy did the one absolutely crazy and impulsive thing he had been contemplating for quite some time now. He kissed her. And she kissed him back. The outward expression of bonds long felt in heart and mind, of a friendship so deep it blossomed into something more. Everything had happened for a reason, they knew that now.

Terra was not forgotten, and never would be. Now, there would be a future to compliment the shining moments of the past, those beautiful days spent in her company. Somehow, Beast Boy knew Raven was right...she wanted him to be happy, and he was. He was.

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_Ok, explanations! No, a demon has not possessed me, though it wouldn't tell you anything different if it had...ok that didn't help my point. I STILL LOVE THE PAIRING OF ROBIN AND RAVEN! I DO! This was...an experiment...and...I'll admit...I enjoyed writing it. There, I said it. Mamma always used to say you gotta try it before you decide you hate it, so I did, and I don't hate it. Look, I understand if you don't like this pairing, and I don't expect you to read this just because I wrote it. You can yell at me if you want, but I wanted to write this, so I did. I love the pairing of Raven and Robin, and I will continue to write that pairing, but I have a feeling that this is the beginning of a bit of branching out, experimenting, trying new things. You don't have to read...lol I realize this should be at the first of the story, right? -laughs nervously- So I guess now I wait for the blow... -Dusty _


End file.
